War Strategies
by danceee15
Summary: What happens when knights have snowball fights? Magic, tactics, cheating and strategies happen.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I was Tamora Pierce…Bloodhound would be out already

**Disclaimer: If I was Tamora Pierce…Bloodhound would be out already.**

**a/n: Hello fellow Tamora Pierce addicts. This is my first Tamora Pierce fanfic so constructive criticism is always welcome. I probably won't update the next chapter for a month because I will be away but if I get enough reviews I might update tomorrow and the day after. **

The fresh white snow crunched loudly underneath a horse's hoof, startling Kel in her morning practice. She finished up the last step in her pattern dance just as a loud pounding noise shook her door frame. Without being told to come in, Nealan of Queenscove strode into the room, oblivious to the glaive in Kel's hand until it touched his throat. "Mithros Kel. That's not a very nice way to welcome a wonderful lad such as me…although I can understand the impulse to attack me for my good looks," drawled Neal.

"What do you want Meathead."

"I'll ignore that jibe at my intelligence but only because it's such a splendid day outside."

"Again. What do you want?"

"Is it so much for a young lad to want to ask his dear best friend to join him in the snowball fight of the century. Either come of free will or be forced to." Kel was unaffected by this threat seeing as she had a glaive leveled at Neal's throat while he looked quite bereft of any weapons. She decided to educate Neal and tell him exactly that.

An annoyingly smug Neal replied," You are mistaken my dear Keladry. I have that bunch of fellows. What are their names? Owen, Esmond, Faleron, Seaver, Merric, Dom, Wolset, the rest of the Third Company, not to mention the Giant Killer himself and various other people."

Kel really didn't care about going out but still, she might as well have some fun with Neal. "Alright. But only if you get Alanna."

Momentarily shocked by this request, Neal gaped open mouthed at Kel. "You couldn't have picked a harder task? That woman is like a bear all day and a mad bear in the morning. But fine. I'll use Raoul as my shield."

"Excuse me for interrupting, but what is this about me being a shield for someone as cowardly as Nealan of Queenscove," said Raoul as he walked into Kel's room through the open door.

"But you don't understand you supreme Giant Killeredness, she wants me to wake up Alanna so that they both can spend a whole morning…in the cold!"

"It's not that hard. All you need to do is duck. Come. See how it's done. You too Kel."

"But sir!" moaned Kel.

"Is that backtalk I hear?" and because Kel was a good knight, she followed Raoul out of the room. But once Neal had lagged out of earshot, Raoul changed his tone and asked her kindly

"What's our strategy?" he asked in a tone worthy of Sarge.

"Sir, it's a snowball fight. Not war."

"That's what you think. Mark my words, snowball fights between knights are rarely just fights."**(Yes I know that rhymes. It was an accident) **

**a/n: I know I know, lot's of dialogue. The next chapter will be much better. I'm bringing in George. It's going to get funny. I promise. After all, it's a bunch of knights (and mages soon) who are used to fighting cruelly having a snowball fight. All you have to do is click that little purple button.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I am not Tamora Pierce so I don't own any of her characters

**Disclaimer: I am not Tamora Pierce so I don't own any of her characters. **

**a/n: Hello all. Thank you very much for your reviews. To answer your question Aly, possibly. It motivated me to write this chapter so quickly (three hours after I posted the story). George has come. What do you think he'll do?**

"Let me get this straight. You woke me up at this hour to ask me if I wanted to spend the whole day outside in the. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" Alanna roared.

Raoul contemplated this statement. When he reached a conclusion he replied, "Yes I think we are."

Neal ducked as a blast of purple magic narrowly missed his head. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately for Alanna, it missed Neal or else it would have been Neal's head that exploded instead of the table behind him.

Finally George decided to intervene from behind the Yamani screen he was hidden behind before Alanna set the room on fire."Calm down lass. This could be fun," said a tentative George

"Fun is not spending time out in the cold at this ungodly hour. But, I'll play." Startled at her quick acceptance, Raoul wondered why she had agreed so quickly. What did she want? "But I want first pick of armies."

A worried Kel asked, "Armies sir?" Raoul ignored her and kept thinking.

"Fine Alanna. But I want Kel," decided Raoul

"Raoul, you are asking me to give up the second Lady Knight. You are crazy."

"I thought we already established that but I'll play by your rules. It will just make my victory sweeter. Who do you want in exchange for Kel?"

A cautious Kel, and she had a right to be cautious as the table was still smoking, said "I'm right here sir."

"Buri," Alanna said, disregarding Kel.

"WHAT!" roared an outraged Raoul.

"And Numair."

"You surely don't mean the most powerful mage in the realm."

Faking mock concentration as if deciding the answer to Raoul's query, Alanna replied, "As a matter of fact I do,"

"How is it that you are getting the most powerful page in the realm and my fiancée?" puzzled Raoul, "I want Daine."

"Add in Dom and I'll agree."

"Then I want George too,"

"He's all yours," said Alanna as George tried to figure out if his wife's willingness to give him away to the opposing side was a compliment or an insult. She strode out of the room, grabbing Neal's ear in the process and whispering, "Never wake me up again," as he followed meekly behind.

--

"Alright men and women, as previously determined through some intense bartering, Kel, Daine and George will be part of my army and Buri, Numair and Dom will be on Alanna's team," barked Raoul at the line of people. They were all bundled up and standing in a clear field with a line drawn through it. Trees closed the field of from civilization in case Corus thought their knights were going crazy. Eventually, the armies were the following

Raoul: Kel, Daine, George, Wolset, Lerant, Merric, Seaver, Yuki, Thayet, Tobe

Alanna: Buri, Numair, Dom, Miri, Evin, Owen, Esmond, Faleron, Jon, Neal

Poor Neal was the last left. Nobody wanted to put up with his complaining. Alanna, felt obligated to take him only because he was her former squire. "Oh almost forgot something," Raoul had just remembered another condition, " Alanna, you are not allowed to get Numair to make you a six foot watch tower and 8 feet walls all around like the last time."

"Damn it."

--

"Alright men and ladies. Here are your assignments. I want Lerrant, Owen and Merric to make the fortress. That means high wall, stairs, and landings. Daine, see if your animals can help and do you by any chance have any of those sly creatures called darkings left? I want Kel and Wolset discussing war plans with me. Thayet, Tobe and Yuki start making snowballs. Move it!" Raoul roared handing very detailed blueprints to the building crew.

"What should I do Raoul?" asked George.

"What you do best."

"I'm assuming you mean spying."

"Fine. The two things you do best." **(Invisible cookies to the person who guesses)**

**a/n: I wanted to leave you guys the longest chapter I have written so far in case I don't update tomorrow or tonight. The next chapter will be really short. Double agents. I wonder how they get pressed into service. ;) Please vote in my poll as to who should be the double agent. **


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: Sorry for the long wait

**a/n: Sorry for the long wait. I'm back now. This chapter isn't very long but I wanted to update as soon as possible. I had to make invisible cookies though for spottyslope, Irish Ninja Chick, and Aly-of-Tortall13. I hope you like them. Shang Leopard also gets one for making me laugh. Thank you feathersofbronze for checking Lerant for me. Also thank you avearia for your awesome suggestions. I revised the first and second chapter so if you want to look you can but they aren't very different. Also, call me Meathead but I just found out about the Reader Traffic thing and I'm a bit confused. What's the difference between hits and visitors? This author's note is longer then this chapter so I'll start writing now. Wait. One last thing. The poll is closed and deleted so you won't get to see who the double agent is. I went a little against the poll but you'll see. Anyways. Onwards with the story.**

Neal and Owen walked down a long corridor to their rooms. The slightly musty and dark corridor gave off a sense of secrecy and scariness. However, Neal dismissed this feeling as irrational fear. If he would have known about the hooded figures following him though, he would have proclaimed himself a seer. As Neal and Owen neared the end of the hall, the cloaked figures revealed there presence to them. "Who are you?" asked Neal, quaking with fear as the figures advanced.

"You don't need to know that but we have a proposition for you," remarked the largest one whose cloak seemed to be too short as his ankles were protruding from the bottom, "We want you to become double agents for Raoul."

Owen clapped gleefully. "That would be jolly good fun!" Neal was still trembling visibly.

Neal, in a high and squeaky voice, finally said, "Alanna will disembowel us."

"But we would have jolly good fun," whined Owen.

Refusing to admit defeat, Neal pulled himself to his full height (which was still a head shorter than the big stranger) and said rather dramatically, "I'll never betray my country."

The big one cracked his knuckles loudly and the two others drew their swords. "Well then, I suppose we'll have to disembowel you."

"Now look at what you've done. This won't be jolly," chided Owen.

--

Elsewhere in the palace, Alanna was searching furiously for a piece of paper. This piece of paper was vital to her operation. As she overturned tables and chairs, she became a thought struck her. She knew she couldn't have lost the blueprints. They were with her at all times. But honestly. Raoul wouldn't sink that low. Actually yes he would. Enraged, Alanna seized a quill and paper she started planning her revenge.

**A/N: I'm a bit stuck now. What should the revenge be? Suggestions always help. I don't know when I'll update so I suppose you'll just have to keep checking.**


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note

**Author's Note **

**Dear all of my spectacular wonderful readers,**

**I am so immensely sorry that I have not updated in a long time. Currently my computer is lying in pieces on the floor. Thanks so much for being patient. I probably won't be able to update soon so please bare with me. My computer probably won't be fixed for awhile so I wanted to let you guys know ahead of time. Thank you so much. By the way, I'm writing this on my sister's computer but I don't want to start a new chapter on here. Worst comes to worst that's what I'll do but I'd rather not. **

Danccce15 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Did you really think I owned any of Tamora Pierce's characters?**

**A/n: I am so so so so so so so so so extremely sorry for not updating. I give in. My computer is still in pieces on the floor so I'm starting this chapter on my sister's computer. I feel awful that when I started this story it was July and no snow was on the ground and now it's almost December with snow always being a possibility. Anyway, thank you so much my lovely reviewers for sticking with me and now let us start with Alanna's revenge.**

Raoul was a happy Giant Killer. The plans were tucked safely in his belt thanks to a certain Spymaster and he now had a double agent who nobody could possibly suspect. He himself couldn't even believe it that his dirty tactics had worked and that this fellow was a double agent. The only probably was that other one. Maybe some tea induced hallucinations would help? Raoul continued on his way unaware of the devious trickery going on right outside.

Numair did not approve of the way these _children _were acting. Here he was sitting outside in the freezing cold attempting to say "Quoi de donner prises" over and over all because the lioness roared at him. In his defense she was very scary and Daine would be very mad at him for spoiling not only her but the darkings fun too. But honestly, it wasn't his fault that she had promised them fun for all.

Nearby Wolset, Lerrant, Dom, Owen and Neal were planning a mutiny…in a tiny broom closet. However, it was not going to well seeing as Neal kept shouting, "I refuse to be treated this way," before banging his head on the ceiling. Also, the fact that Dom kept making wisecracks about the massive bruise on Neal's cheek did not help. Duplicates of both Alanna and Raoul's blueprints were spread out in front of them giving them considerable leverage with both Alanna and Raoul. The only problem was finding a way to use those pieces of paper for their own devices. Shouting and banging did not help anyone's train of thought. A darking whispered "fun" as it made itself comfortably in a person's sleeve

Three riders and a servant huddled up around a roaring fire. Their goals were not yet known to the others but they all had a common purpose: to mess with certain members on each team. Buri's purpose was to get back at Raoul. She had taken offense when Raoul had made a joke about women and their mothers and revenge was eminent. Miri, temperamental as she was, was trying desperately to mess with the members of Own's heads since, as she had so kindly pointed out to them, the Riders were by far better than anything the Own could procure. She didn't take to the pranks they had pulled to kindly although she had already gotten revenge for those. Tobe was only there because he just wanted to have fun. He also thought everyone was taking this snowball fight thing to seriously and to a whole new level. Like Tobe, Evin was only along for the ride. He liked seeing people running around going crazy while he stood calmly at attention. After all that's what sabotage was for.

**A/n: I know short but still at least it's something. Next chapter will continue with the effects of Alanna's revenge. Any guesses?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know. I have no excuse. Luckily my dad fixed my computer the day after I posted the last chapter but I didn't have Word installed until a couple of days ago. Anyways, I was a bit disheartened by the lack of response to the last chapter but then again it was an unbearably short chapter, half of it being the author's note. I don't know where this story is going so I'm quite sure I will continue. Ideas anyone? IMPORTANT: I FELT BAD ABOUT WRITING SUCH A SHORT CHAPTER LAST TIME SO I ADDED SOMETHING AT THE END.**

The darking, its name was Feather for the little bit of feather inside of it, slipped through the holes in the wall. It coiled itself in the shape of an earring on its mistress' ear. Gently, it repeated the words it had heard in a certain broom closet. The darking was bumped along as its mistress ran to inform…Kel.

Raoul's side gathered around their plot of land. The blueprints were placed carefully on a dry rock, held in place by other rocks of various shapes and sizes. It's amazing how daunting and teasing a single piece of paper can be but the worker bees faces on Raoul's team showed all. Each expression read "This man is a barbarian. There is no way he can force me build this monstrosity. I WON'T, I WON'T, I WON'T!" Nevertheless, Raoul pretended not to notice despite the many death glares aimed his way. Clapping his hands together he proceeded to command his squad as if they were locked in a room with Scanrans.

"THIS SHOULD TAKE HALF A DAY AT MOST. NO LAZING AROUND." Unbeknownst to him, Raoul's every action was being watched by Alanna as she quaked with silent mirth at the dilemma about to fall Raoul.

Numair was seated quietly in his room. It was unthinkable that the greatest mage in the realm was hiding from a squat lady. He kept trying to talk himself out of staying shut up in his room but as he told himself, this squat lady could run him through with almost anything. Except for the flower in the vase on his desk. Scratch that. He could defiantly be killed by a flower at her hands. As he considered his life more valuable than his pride, Numair fumbled around as he prepared the ingredients for his next nasty concoction: Pas Entendre. Who it would affect not even he could tell you. His fate was left up to a group of rash people. And this was not reassuring at all.

Buri, Miri and Evin sat around a table. Their primary focus was people. Obviously the riders (and Tobe) couldn't complete their mission by themselves. Sure they could wreak havoc but it wouldn't be the same as complete destruction. They would need to bring someone else in. Someone with power. Someone nobody would suspect. Somebody who could help them and the riders knew just who to call on.

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Meanwhile, Neal shuffled carefully down the hall, jumping at every shadow as he made his way cautiously to the mess. Lately, Neal had taken to eating his meals well after or before anyone else did to avoid running into a certain stubborn bear of a knight. So far his plan had worked but like any plan, there are always little bumps in the road. This particular bump was because Alanna had woken up later than normal and was on her way to eat at this same particular moment. The result ended up with Neal's nose mashed into a door because he bumped into Alanna before she could eat.

As he waited for Neal to arrive, Owen tidied up the broom closet for the mutineers impending meeting. This included pillows stuck to the rafters for Neal's benefit. Owen was glad to be left on his own. It gave him time to think about what he was about to do. Truthfully, he had no scruples. Anything that provided him with jolly good fun was alright with him. The latest addition to the mutineers would definitely provide jolly good fun. Owen liked having power and he defiantly was not going to let go of what he had so far with out a fight.

Jon was becoming slowly aware that not all was as it should be. Everything looked normal but still, there was a sense of tension and craziness in the air. He could not place it which was very irritating. It was HIS job as king to find the source of discord. But, try as he may he could not figure it out. The Scanrans were sorted, the dressmaker was paid, and there was plenty of food to last the winter. This feeling that something was not right was strongly reinforced when he saw jolly Owen sneaking off somewhere with many pillows in his hands.

**A/N: I tried to give you guys a longer chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Can anyone guess what the spell was? Invisible pie if you can guess. REMEMBER TO CHECK OUT THE ENDING OF THE LAST CHAPTER.**


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